Managing the rollercoaster of emotions in early motherhood can feel like a daunting task. There is so much adjustment, learning and surrender that is required and often very little support available to navigate the massive changes that this phase brings.
Yet emotions act like a gauge, keeping us aware of what works, what doesn’t, where our needs are met and where they aren’t. Tuning in to the emotions that arise and learning to work with them, can allow new mothers to regain a sense of control and keep overwhelm at bay.
Beware of the positivity trap
Did you know that our emotional system works in the same way as our immune system? It allows in what is nourishing and keeps out what is not. Our emotions directly impact our nervous system and making sure that they move through as needed is key to staying mentally and physically healthy.
In the realm of holistic mind/body connection, cultivating positive emotions such as compassion, mindfulness, gratitude, is often the place we’re told to start. However, I’ve noticed with my clients, time and again, that they often can’t easily access these until they start addressing the backlog of repressed emotions which haven’t yet made their way out of their system.
“Suppressing emotions takes a great amount of energy and limits access to joy as
well.” Tami Lynn Kent
In our culture, we tend to overemphasise keeping stress under check and staying
calm at all costs, even though it means repressing healthy emotional response as a
result.
Tears help us process grief and sadness. Healthy anger used as a boundary defence
helps us protect what is precious in our life, the things that matter.
Practicing healthy emotional release as a new mother
So, what can you do to support your nervous system, your mind and your heart to thrive as a new mum?
Practice healthy emotional release. Here are some ways you can do it, and by the same token, support your overall health and wellbeing.
- Put words on what you’re feeling: speak it out loud or write it down. Try not to get stuck in replaying the event in your mind. Instead, focus on identifying the emotions behind the event that triggered you. If you can, follow the sensations in your body as you describe what you’re feeling.
- Get your needs met: an unmet need will often trigger anger and resentment. We live in a world where motherhood is unfortunately not valued and supported adequately. As unfair and disheartening as it is, if we can tune into ourselves enough to identify our needs (for rest, for support, for recognition, etc.) and voice them, we can feel empowered again as we get them met. Every time you feel overwhelmed by frustration, anger, sadness, ask yourself: “what is it that I need right now?”.
- Try therapy or coaching: it can be beneficial if you’re not comfortable accessing your emotions or body sensations on your own or it there’s a history of trauma. It is especially helpful if you’re struggling to identify your needs or ask for help.
- Consider body work: suppressed emotions get trapped in the body. Holistic therapies such as osteopathy, chiropractic, yoga, acupuncture, can help release emotional blockages and support a healthy immune system.
- Use this journaling prompt: where in your life are you not saying no? A great way to gain insights into the areas where you may need to set stronger boundaries in order to address stuck emotions.
And remember the 90-second cycle! According to neuroscience, it takes 90 seconds for the chemicals released by an emotion to flush out of the body. Train your attention so that you don’t get hooked by the thoughts that keep you stuck in the emotion, but instead notice it, breathe through it and watch it move out. This short video by Dr Joan Rosenberg explains this process and I also highly recommend her
book here as a resource to support you.
If you’re keen to stay in shape mentally and emotionally, if you’re going through challenging times and need support to regain clarity, build your confidence and sense of empowerment as a new mother, please reach out. I offer introductory sessions to get to know each other before diving deeper. More about my work here.
You may also be interested in...
Align with Alice
Hi, I’m Alice and I help women step off the emotional rollercoaster and become the mothers they want to be.
Combining my experience as a Midwife, Fertility Nurse, Maternal and Child Health Nurse, Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, my holistic approach integrates my professional experience with my gentle and intuitive nature.
Whether you are navigating the complexities of your fertility, experiencing fear or worry about pregnancy or birth or feeling lost in the early parenting years… I am here to support you on your journey. Because when so much of this journey can feel out of your control, I can help you take control over your mindset, your thoughts and the lens through which you see and experience motherhood.
By working with the subconscious mind, I can help you get ‘unstuck’ from any limiting beliefs that are holding you back, so that you can move forward in your next chapter feeling empowered, confident, optimistic and clear on your path forward.
What is RTT?
RTT uniquely blends principles of hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, neurolinguistic programming, cognitive behavioural therapy, neuroscience and neuroplasticity to deliver fast, effective and long-lasting results. Ultimately RTT aims to get to the root cause of the ‘problem’ you’re experiencing, identify any subconscious blocks or limiting beliefs and clear these so that you can move forward with new, positive and supportive beliefs that align with your vision for motherhood. This process doesn’t just change how you think, it changes what you believe about yourself, how you feel, how you behave and how you experience the world.
If you have questions about whether RTT is suitable for you or how I could help, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I offer complimentary calls and I’m always more than happy to answer questions.
Danielle Brooker, Joy Activation Coach
Danielle Brooker is a Mama, Joy Activation Coach, writer, avid self-help reader, lover of travel, adventure and exceptional coffee. Through her private coaching programs, digital courses, Mama Joy Summit, writing and podcast, Danielle teaches ambitious, busy and always-on Mamas ‘in the thick of it’ to move from the mess to the magic of this season of life.
Her signature program BEYOND focuses on the ‘forgotten season’ of motherhood, teaching Mamas to put core foundations in place to support their thriving well beyond the traditional ‘postpartum’ period. Danielle works intuitively, blending a foundation in human behaviour, neuroplasticity-based coaching and strategy, with somatic principles, emotional context work and soul practices. She shares, “I moved across the world to a new city, 6 months pregnant, in the middle of a global pandemic. All to take action towards my dreams. It was tough. And it was rewarding. I birthed my baby at home, with my partner holding me, literally.
Entering motherhood was everything and nothing like I imagined. It’s pushed me beyond any emotional capacity I’ve ever been asked to experience. I’ve been on my knees sobbing on the bathroom floor not believing I could get up again. And I’ve been bursting with so much joy I thought my cheeks would explode.
Motherhood is one of the most courageous acts. I’m here to take your hand and show you back to your place of safety and strength, so you can fully expand into this season of life. So you can live your most joyful life and feel your most vibrant self.”
She’s the author of Freedom from Busy and has written for and been featured in publications such as Forbes.com and Breathe and is on a mission for Mamas to reclaim this powerful season of life and live in their fullness. Danielle currently lives in Sydney with her daughter and partner, dreaming up the next adventure for their family.
Learn about the support you didn't know you needed.
We have cherry picked the most useful resources for your fourth trimester so that you don't have to waste precious hours searching.
Article - Jackie Gorman (Nurture By Touch)
Jamu Postnatal Massage: The Nurturing Tradition Every New Mother Should Experience For Deep Recovery
This is truly special to witness; it's a real privilege. As I’m within the sanctuary of the family's home for up to 4 weeks, you subtly and gratefully become part of the furniture, quietly and respectfully. So as the days pass through this ancient lineage of care, you see things shift physically, which is pure biology to me, but also her smile changes as you walk through the door, her eyes are more vibrant and her skin colour changes
Article - Elisha Wildblood and Louise Barton (Not Another Onesie)
The Silent Struggle of Motherhood
Becoming a new mother is a beautiful and life-changing experience, but it can also be very challenging.
Article - Leonie Lindenbergh-Poot (Love Through Loss Doula)
Helping Children Navigate Grief
Children experience grief differently than adults. They may not have the words to express their feelings, so they show them in other ways—through tears, anger, or even unexpected silliness. Some days, they may seem perfectly fine, and the next, a wave of sadness can hit them out of nowhere. It’s all part of how they process the big feelings they don’t fully understand yet.
Article - Julia Jones (Newborn Mothers)
What is a Doula?
Today, a doula is typically someone who acts as a hub of support, referrals and resources for a person during a major life transition, usually related to birth. Doulas have a holistic approach that considers both mental and physical well-being. Services vary significantly but can include emotional reassurance, information based on scientific evidence, and comfort techniques like massage and nourishing food. The role is not medical, and doulas cannot treat, diagnose or cure any disease.
Article - Elisha Wildblood and Louise Barton (Not Another Onesie)
Discover the life changing benefits of planning for your postpartum
Discover how proactive postpartum planning can transform your journey into motherhood. This post outlines the critical benefits of preparing ahead—from organizing nutritious meals and setting up recovery systems to establishing clear boundaries with visitors and building a trusted support network. With practical tips and insights, you'll learn how a well-crafted plan can help you recover, bond with your new-born, and navigate the early days of motherhood with confidence.