The Silent Struggle of Motherhood

Becoming a new mother is a beautiful and life-changing experience, but it can also be very challenging. It’s not uncommon for new mothers to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and alone. Many struggle in silence and find it difficult to ask for help. As mothers of multiple children ourselves, we understand how hard it can be to reach out for help when you’re struggling.

Let’s look more closely at why asking for or accepting help can feel so hard and what we can do about it.

You might feel pressure to do it all and appear capable and self-sufficient. This societal narrative can create a sense of guilt and inadequacy for those who seek help. However, it’s important to remember that asking for help is never a sign of weakness but a wise choice for the wellbeing of both you and your little one. It takes courage to ask for help, and there’s no shame in it.

Maybe you fear judgment from others, which can make it hard to open up, show vulnerability and ask for support. We get it. This is where actively creating a non-judgmental support system of friends and family, allows you space to express your needs without fear of criticism. Make a point of choosing your safe inner circle. The ones you can reach out to on the hard days.

At times, the feeling of being overwhelmed can make it challenging to ask for help. It can be exhausting to figure out where to start and who to approach for support, especially when it comes to mental health. You may be worried that others will see you as incapable, be it family, friends or healthcare professionals, which can make seeking help even scarier. However, there are many support networks, helplines, and other supportive services that can be the first tiny step you need to take to get the ball rolling. We have a list of available supportive services, and a list of helpful phone numbers that can be a great first step towards seeking help.

What about the ‘Superwoman Syndrome’ or the ‘Perfect Mother’ Myth? They both play a role in preventing mamas from seeking help. We believe that we should be able to handle everything on our own, maintain a perfect appearance, keep a spotless house, and effortlessly take care of our children. However, we need to let go of this idea. Look for friends who are honest and vulnerable with you, as they can provide relief from this harmful societal myth. It’s important to understand that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Here are some ways to feel more comfortable asking for help:

1. Ask a friend to create a help schedule and share it with everyone.
2. Request your partner to seek support.
3. Make postpartum planning (before bub arrives) a priority, so you have support in place when needed.
4. Look for examples of other mothers who are honest and open about their struggles, and be inspired by them.
5. Keep in mind that nobody has it all perfectly together, and some people are just better at creating the facade.

Your journey into motherhood is unique and seeking help should be seen as a strength. By speaking up about the challenges you face and creating a supportive environment, we can encourage others to also seek support. This allows us all to remove the facade of being a superwoman and embrace the freedom of being real. Remember that you are never alone.

If you’re unsure about where to start reaching out for support or if you’d like help creating a postpartum plan, book a chat with us and we’ll guide you through the process.