Why Motherhood Feels So Hard

Dear Mama,

We see you. We see the way you pour yourself into motherhood, the way you carry the weight of the world while still showing up with love and strength, even when you feel like a shadow of yourself.

As a society, we sit here adding to the pressure, adding to the load and, let’s be brutally honest – failing you miserably every step of the way.

We owe you an apology.

We are sorry for the impossible standards we’ve placed on you.

We told you to “bounce back” after birth as if your body hadn’t just performed a miracle. We glorified the snapback culture and made you believe that your worth is tied to how quickly you could erase the evidence of growing life within you. We never stop to honour the transformation, the rawness, and the resilience of your postpartum body.

We are sorry for making you feel like you had to do it all alone.

Once upon a time, motherhood was held by a village. There were hands to help, shoulders to cry on, and wisdom passed down without judgment. But we let that village crumble somewhere along the way, leaving you to navigate this journey without the support you so deeply deserve. We made you believe that asking for help was a weakness when, in truth, it is one of the greatest strengths.

We are sorry for the mental load we’ve placed upon you.

We celebrated your multitasking, calling you a superhero while dismissing the invisible weight you carry. The meal planning, the appointments, the schedules, the emotional labor of remembering everything and being everything for everyone. We made this your “normal” instead of stepping in to share the load. We also told you to make sure to keep your home immaculate and beautiful as if that was a reflection on your mothering skills and your worth. 

We are sorry for the unrealistic expectations.

We told you to cherish every moment, then shamed you when you admitted to struggling. We expected you to be everything to everyone – a nurturing mother, a present partner, a dedicated worker, and a selfless caregiver – all while staying effortlessly composed. We never stopped to remind you that it’s okay to not love every moment. That exhaustion does not mean failure. That your needs matter too.

We are sorry for not supporting you better.

For making parental leave a privilege instead of a right. For creating workplaces that don’t accommodate the realities of mothering. For failing to provide affordable childcare, proper postpartum care, and mental health support. For placing the burden on you to “figure it out” instead of creating a world that uplifts and values mothers in tangible ways.

Mama, we owe you more than an apology – we owe you change.

We need to rebuild the village.

We need to normalise asking for and receiving help.

We need to advocate for policies that support you, for workplaces that respect you, and for a culture that nurtures, rather than depletes, mothers.

We promise to do better.

But until that change happens, know this:

You are not alone.

You were never meant to do this alone.

You deserve support, care, and rest.

And most of all, you deserve to be seen, heard, and valued – not just as a mother, but as a whole, worthy, incredible human being.

With deepest apologies, 

A Society that has let you down when you needed it most.