Navigating the Emotional Side of Pregnancy and New Motherhood

The emotional side of pregnancy and new motherhood doesn’t come with a manual, but thankfully, Dr Mandy Godwin, a perinatal psychologist in Australia and founder of Mums in Bloom, has created two free guides to help mums navigate this tender time and support their emotional wellbeing during pregnancy and postpartum.

Her first, Becoming a Mother, helps you prepare emotionally for the final trimester, while Beautifully Messy gently supports you through those moments when motherhood doesn’t go to plan.

As an advocate for emotional wellbeing during pregnancy and postpartum, Mandy offers practical, compassionate guidance to help mothers feel calmer, more confident, and deeply supported as they move through these life-changing transitions.

We sat down with her to talk about the emotional realities of becoming a mother and how to find steadiness and self-compassion, no matter what unfolds.

So many mums say the emotional side of pregnancy catches them off guard. Why do you think we focus so much on the birth plan, but not the emotional plan?

That’s such an important consideration. Most women are encouraged to prepare for birth through checklists and classes, but we rarely talk about preparing emotionally for what comes after. The emotional preparation for motherhood, what it means to navigate your own identity, relationships, and mental health is often overlooked.

The emotional transition into motherhood is less visible, so it often catches people by surprise. We spend so much energy planning for labour, but far less time reflecting on how life, identity, and relationships will change once the baby arrives.

That’s really where Becoming a Mother began, helping women create not just a birth plan, but a gentle third trimester support guide that focuses on their mental health during pregnancy and beyond.

In your guide Becoming a Mother, you share quick mood support tools. What are some practical ways mums can regulate their emotions when hormones feel all over the place?

This is one of the most common struggles I hear about. Late pregnancy is full of hormonal shifts, disrupted sleep, and big emotions. It’s completely normal to feel more sensitive or up and down.

I encourage mums to create little rituals that bring calm, stepping outside for fresh air, putting a cool cloth on your face, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea. At the end of the day, naming three small moments that felt soothing can help the nervous system settle. And a simple phrase like “This makes sense. I’m allowed to feel all of this” can help you meet your emotions with kindness instead of self-judgment.

Explore more emotional regulation techniques  here 

You talk about creating a “support tribe” and communicating what you need. Why is asking for help still so hard for many mums, and how can they start those conversations early?

It’s something I see so often. Many women have grown up believing that being a good mum means being self-sufficient. But the research shows that building a postpartum village, a network of emotional and practical support,  is one of the strongest protective factors for maternal mental health.

In Becoming a Mother, I talk about creating a small but intentional circle of care before the baby arrives. You don’t need a big crowd,  just a few people who can show up in different ways. The emotional listener, the practical helper, the baby-safe buddy, the wise one, and a professional ally.

Thinking about these roles early helps you establish maternal mental health support systems before you need them, making it easier to reach out later when things feel overwhelming.

What are some examples of the “scripts for support” you include in your guide, and how can they help mums feel more confident expressing what they need?

Having words ready can make all the difference when you’re tired or overwhelmed. Many new mothers struggle with asking for help postpartum, especially when they’re unsure how to express what they need in the moment.

That’s why I include gentle, ready-to-use examples in Becoming a Mother, such as:

• “I don’t need solutions today, just someone to listen.”

• “If you’re dropping by, could you bring milk or bread?”

• “Can you take the baby for a short walk while I rest?”

These simple scripts for support ease the pressure and make emotional communication in motherhood feel more achievable. They help you ask for practical postpartum support without guilt, and make it easier for others to show up in ways that truly help.

Your second guide, Beautifully Messy, explores what happens when things don’t go to plan. Why was it important for you to write this, and why do you think so many mums struggle with unmet expectations?

So many mothers tell me they feel unprepared for how emotional and unpredictable this season can be. We’re surrounded by idealised images of calm births, instant bonding, and “glowing” new mums,  so when the birth doesn’t go to plan, many women are left wondering what they did wrong.

Beautifully Messy was written to challenge those postpartum expectations and remind mothers that there’s no single “right” way to do this. It’s for the women who find themselves thinking, “Why didn’t anyone tell me it could feel like this?”

This guide is about emotional healing after birth,  helping mothers understand that disappointment, grief, or uncertainty don’t mean they’ve failed. They’re simply moving through something enormous, human, and deeply transformative.

Can you share a few of the “this wasn’t in the plan” moments you see most often, and how mums can move through the emotions that come with them?

Common ones include births that unfold differently than expected, challenges with feeding, feeling disconnected from your baby, or a loss of identity once the routines fade away. These are the moments when postpartum emotions can feel most intense,  when the reality of motherhood doesn’t match the picture we had in our minds.

It’s completely normal to grieve parts of your experience while still feeling grateful for what you have. These moments often bring guilt or sadness, but they’re also invitations to slow down and begin your own birth recovery process.

Writing your story, talking with someone safe, or seeing a perinatal psychologist can be powerful ways to start healing after a difficult birth. Real healing begins when you feel seen and supported, not when you have it all together.

Birth and feeding are such charged topics. When they don’t go to plan, what are some ways mums can process guilt or grief and rebuild trust in themselves?

First, remember that your body did not fail you. Birth and feeding can be beautiful, but they can also be complex, messy, and out of our control,  and that’s okay. Allowing space to grieve what you hoped for is a vital part of birth trauma recovery. You can hold both gratitude and sadness at the same time.

Many women carry layers of postpartum guilt or shame when things don’t unfold the way they imagined. The healing begins with compassion,  speaking kindly to yourself, acknowledging what was hard, and recognising the strength it took to get through it.

Rebuilding self-trust after birth often comes from small, consistent acts of care: resting, talking about your experience, and seeking connection with supportive people. Sharing your story, rather than keeping it quiet, helps many mothers feel lighter, stronger, and more at home in their bodies again.

You also write about the bond feeling slow or strange. Why does this happen, and how can mums know they’re not alone in that experience?

Bonding isn’t always instant, and that’s something we need to say more openly. For many women, bonding after birth unfolds gradually, through small, everyday moments like the smell of their baby’s skin, the warmth of a cuddle, or a sleepy sigh on their chest.

Fatigue, hormonal changes, birth trauma, or feeding challenges can all make connection between mother and baby feel harder at first. But slow bonding with your baby is still bonding. Love that grows quietly and steadily is just as real as the instant kind.

Knowing this can help mothers release the pressure to “feel it right away” and instead trust that closeness will come in its own time, through care, touch, and presence.

How can mums tune out the noise and start trusting their own intuition again?

It starts with quieting the input. Try stepping back from the constant stream of advice, opinions, and comparison, and instead notice how your body feels. Calm usually means it fits; tension often means it doesn’t.

Your maternal intuition doesn’t disappear after birth, it just gets drowned out for a while. When you slow down, it gently returns. Learning to listen inward again is a key part of trusting yourself as a new mum.

As you rebuild postpartum confidence, remember that no one knows your baby the way you do. When you tune into your own instincts and wisdom, you’ll start to feel more grounded, capable, and connected in your choices.

Both guides seem to have a common message,  that motherhood is emotional, unpredictable, and deeply human. What do you hope every mum takes away from them?

That she’s not supposed to have it all figured out. The emotional side of motherhood is big and messy and beautiful, and feeling deeply doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re human.

I want every woman to know that self-compassion for mums isn’t indulgent, it’s essential. When you treat yourself with gentleness, you create space for healing and connection to grow.

Ultimately, both guides are reminders that you don’t have to walk this alone. Reaching out for postpartum mental health support, whether that’s a professional, a trusted friend, or your wider village, is a sign of strength, not weakness.

You’ve created these beautiful, free guides as gifts for mums. Can you tell us what’s inside and how they can get them?

Becoming a Mother is one of my free motherhood guides, designed to help you prepare emotionally and practically for life after birth. It’s a gentle third-trimester companion that includes sections on mood regulation, relationship check-ins, and setting up your postpartum support circle,  a true roadmap for emotional preparation for motherhood.

You can download it free here 

Beautifully Messy supports mums after birth when things don’t go to plan. It offers postpartum support resources for processing emotions, adjusting expectations, and finding steadiness again.

You can download it free here 

If you’d like to explore further, there are short $27 video seminars that dive deeper into pregnancy body image, postpartum mental health, and a simple partner guide called Dear Partner: Supporting Her, Supporting Us.

You can find these here

How do you hope these guides will make mums feel after reading them?

I hope they feel seen, steadier, and more forgiving of themselves. So much of postpartum emotional healing begins with softness, with allowing space for the full spectrum of feelings that come after birth.

These guides were created to nurture emotional wellbeing for new mums, helping them feel supported and understood during one of life’s biggest transitions.

Ultimately, I hope every mother closes the guide with a deep exhale and a sense of self-forgiveness after birth,  knowing she’s not alone, that her emotions make sense, and that she’s doing beautifully in her own way.

If you could leave every mum with one reminder for those tender, messy moments, what would it be?

You’re not doing it wrong,  you’re just doing something enormous. The emotional side of motherhood is raw and real, filled with moments that stretch you in ways you never imagined.

Remember that self-compassion for mothers isn’t a luxury, it’s a lifeline. You can be tired and grateful, messy and loving, all at once and still be doing an incredible job.

Postpartum support for mums is about more than getting help; it’s about being reminded that you were never meant to do this alone. Motherhood was never meant to be perfect, only real and that’s more than enough.

You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

Motherhood was never meant to be a solo journey,  it was meant to be supported. 
If this conversation stirred something in you, know there’s a whole village waiting to hold you.

Download Dr Mandy Godwin’s free guides  Becoming a Mother and Beautifully Messy at mumsinbloom.com.au for gentle tools and emotional guidance through pregnancy and postpartum.

Explore our Not Another Onesie Directory to find the practitioners, perinatal psychologists, doulas, and wellbeing specialists who can walk beside you, wherever you are in your journey.

Because the truth is, you were never meant to have it all together,  just to be held while you find your way.