Feeling Lonely as a New Mum? How to Find Your Village

Loneliness in new motherhood is something many women experience, even when they’re surrounded by people. Finding a supportive community, whether through mothers’ groups, local activities, friends or professional support, can make the transition to motherhood feel less isolating. Mummas Circle founder Rashelle Leahy shares why finding your village matters and what her own experience taught her about connection after having a baby.

When I was pregnant, everyone prepared me for birth.

They told me what pram to buy, what nappies were best, how often my baby would feed, and what milestones to expect.

What nobody prepared me for was how lonely motherhood could feel.

For me, that feeling was magnified by a life-changing move.

Not long after becoming a mum, my husband and I moved to Dubai. I was navigating one of the biggest identity shifts of my life while trying to build a new home in a country where I knew almost no one. Overnight, my support network disappeared. There were no familiar faces, no family close by, and no village to lean on.

I remember wandering through my local Choithrams supermarket one day and spotting another mum with a baby about the same age as mine. I found myself lingering in the same aisles, hoping we’d somehow strike up a conversation. Looking back, it’s a little funny, I probably looked like I was following her, but at that moment, I wasn’t looking for advice or parenting tips.

I was looking for connection.

I was looking for someone who understood this new chapter of life.

I loved my baby deeply, but there were days I felt incredibly alone.

Looking back now, I realise it wasn’t because I was doing anything wrong. It was because motherhood was never meant to be experienced in isolation.

There’s a saying that it takes a village to raise a child.

I believe we’ve forgotten that it also takes a village to support a mother.

Motherhood Changes More Than Your Daily Routine

Becoming a mum is one of the biggest identity shifts a woman will ever experience.

Almost overnight, your priorities change. Your body changes. Your relationships change. Your confidence can change.

You may have gone from leading teams, studying, travelling or building a career to spending your days wondering why your baby won’t sleep, whether you’re doing enough tummy time, or if everyone else has somehow worked it all out.

Many women describe feeling grateful beyond words for their baby while simultaneously grieving parts of the person they used to be.

Those two feelings can exist together.

And they’re both completely normal.

Motherhood asks us to grow into a completely new version of ourselves, often before we’ve had time to say goodbye to the person we were before.

Why Can Motherhood Feel So Lonely?

Today, we can access thousands of parenting tips with a single scroll.

We can join Facebook groups with tens of thousands of members.

We can listen to podcasts, watch reels and Google every question imaginable.

But information is not the same as connection.

A reassuring conversation over a cup of tea.

Someone saying, “My baby did that too.”

Another mum smiling across the room because she understands exactly how you’re feeling.

These are the moments that remind us we’re not failing.

We’re simply human.

Connection isn’t built through perfectly curated social media feeds.

It’s built through shared experiences, honest conversations and the comforting realisation that you’re not the only one finding this hard.

Why Community and Support Matter for New Mums

Research consistently shows that strong social connections can support maternal wellbeing, reduce feelings of isolation and help parents build confidence and support networks during early parenthood.

For babies, community matters too.

While they’re exploring the world through play, movement and new experiences, they’re also watching something incredibly important, their mum.

They see her laugh.

They see her relax.

They see her build friendships.

They see her feel supported.

When a mother feels connected, it creates a ripple effect throughout the family.

Healthy communities don’t just nurture children.

They nurture the people raising them.

How to Find Your Village as a New Mum

A village doesn’t have to be large.

It might be one trusted friend.

A local mums’ group.

A weekly baby class.

A neighbour who checks in.

A grandparent.

A healthcare professional who genuinely listens.

What matters is finding people who remind you that you don’t have to carry motherhood on your own.

Because the reality is this:

Most mums aren’t looking for more advice.

They’re looking for someone who understands.

Someone who will celebrate the wins, reassure them through the challenges and remind them they’re doing a better job than they think.

Where Can New Mums Find Support and Connection?

Finding your village doesn’t have to mean having a huge circle of friends. Connection can begin with one person or one regular place where you start to see familiar faces.

Local mothers’ groups and parent groups, playgroups, baby classes, library sessions, walking groups and community activities can all provide opportunities to meet other parents. Your village may also include family, existing friends, neighbours and health or maternal support professionals.

Online communities can be particularly valuable when getting out of the house is difficult or when you live regionally or away from family and friends. Sometimes the first step is simply finding one space where you feel comfortable enough to show up regularly and allow connections to grow.

Why I Created Mummas Circle

Years later, when my family returned to Australia, I kept thinking about my own experience in Dubai.

I remembered how much I had longed for genuine connection. Not another parenting article or another piece of advice, but real conversations with women who understood what this season of life felt like.

I realised there would be countless other mums feeling exactly the same way.

That’s why I created Mummas Circle.

Not simply as a mums’ group, but as a place where women could walk in feeling overwhelmed, uncertain or isolated and leave knowing they had people in their corner.

Each week, mums come together to learn from trusted experts on topics like sleep, feeding, maternal wellbeing, baby development and relationships. But while the education is incredibly valuable, it’s often the conversations over morning tea, the shared laughs, the tears and the friendships that become the most meaningful part of the experience.

Every week at Mummas Circle I watch new mums arrive quietly, often sitting on the edge of the room, wondering if they’ll fit in.

A few weeks later, they’re organising coffee catch-ups, celebrating milestones together, checking in on each other after difficult nights and supporting one another through the highs and lows of motherhood.

Every time I see it happen, I’m reminded of that young mum wandering the aisles of a supermarket in Dubai, hoping someone would simply say hello.

That has become the heart of Mummas Circle.

Creating the community I once needed.

Every Mum Deserves a Village

Whether you find your people through Mummas Circle, another local mums’ group or your own community, my hope is that every mother finds somewhere she feels she belongs.

Because motherhood was never meant to be experienced in isolation.

When mothers feel supported, families become stronger.

When women have a safe place to ask questions, share their struggles and celebrate the little victories, confidence grows.

Friendships form.

Children thrive.

Communities become stronger.

If there is one thing I hope every new mum knows, it’s this:

You don’t have to do motherhood alone.

Find your village.

Ask for help.

Say yes to the coffee invitation.

Walk into the mums’ group, even if it feels intimidating.

Because somewhere in that room could be the person who changes your motherhood journey.

And if you’re reading this while feeling lonely, wondering if anyone else feels the same way, I hope this reminds you that they do.

You are not alone.

Because every mum deserves to feel seen.

Every mum deserves to feel supported.

And every mum deserves a village.

About the Author

Rashelle Leahy is the founder of Mummas Circle, a Brisbane-based community supporting mothers through connection, education and belonging. Through weekly mums’ groups, community events and the Inside Mummas Circle podcast, Rashelle is passionate about ensuring no mother has to navigate motherhood alone.

Learn More

Learn more about Mummas Circle, its Brisbane mums’ groups and the Inside Mummas Circle podcast,

Looking for Your Own Village?

Support in motherhood can look different for every family. You might be looking for a mothers’ group and genuine connection, or you may need professional support with feeding, sleep, mental wellbeing, physical recovery, relationships or navigating life after having a baby.

Explore the Not Another Onesie directory to find pregnancy, postpartum and motherhood support near you and online across Australia.