Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: Making the Transition Easier

Returning to paid work after maternity leave can bring a surprising mix of feelings.

You might be looking forward to adult conversations, reconnecting with colleagues or using your skills again, while also feeling anxious about leaving your child or wondering how you’ll manage everything. Even in a familiar job, you’re not simply picking up where you left off. You’re finding a way for work and motherhood to fit together in a life that has changed.

Maybe you imagined you’d return to work, catch up with colleagues, remember a few passwords and gradually get back into your routine. But you’ve changed too.

Becoming a mother involves a developmental transition known as matrescence. It reshapes your identity, relationships and priorities. Returning to work often means rediscovering how your professional self fits alongside being a mother. This can show up as ambivalence: missing your child and enjoying being at work, or feeling relieved one day and guilty the next. Mixed feelings can coexist.

It’s common to underestimate how broken sleep and the constant switching between responsibilities can affect your capacity. You may feel less confident than you once did, or find that things which used to be straightforward now take more effort.

Depending on your childcare arrangements, you will likely need to reconsider what doing a good job looks like when your day has a firm finish time and staying late is no longer an option.

What’s important to remember is that a difficult first few weeks (or months) doesn’t mean you’re no longer good at your job. Give yourself time to find a rhythm that fits your circumstances now.

Reconsider what you need from work, and what you can expect in return

Motherhood can change your relationship with work, although it doesn’t necessarily change your ambitions.

Your career might still be a meaningful source of purpose and satisfaction after having a child. Financial security might be your top priority at the moment. And it’s also normal to question a role or pace of work that suited you before but feels harder to sustain now.

When I work with mothers, I invite them to consider what they need now rather than assuming they should return on the same terms. What would make work manageable and fulfilling? Which options are genuinely available?

It’s not always easy to give yourself permission to feel differently about work when the people around you expect you to be the same.

And the reality is that many workplaces still haven’t caught up with the needs of working parents. A disapproving look when you leave for childcare pick-up, or a comment suggesting you’re less committed because you can’t stay late, can make an already challenging transition even harder.

As Amy Westerwelt puts it:

“We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.”

Returning to work shouldn’t be entirely about you adjusting to your workplace. Your employer has a part to play too, through realistic workloads, flexibility and respect for your caring responsibilities.

There’s no single right way to return to work. Your choices will depend on your finances, childcare arrangements, personal preferences and the flexibility available to you. And what works now may need to change as your circumstances evolve.

Share the mental load at home

Returning to paid work doesn’t mean the work of caring for a family becomes any smaller.

There are still meals to organise, appointments to book, clothes to wash and messages from childcare to respond to. Then there’s the invisible work of remembering, planning and anticipating everyone’s needs.

During maternity leave, you may have taken on more of this mental load because you were at home. But that arrangement may no longer be fair or sustainable once you’re back at work.

If you have a partner, talk about responsibilities before the routine becomes overwhelming. Beyond dividing tasks, consider who notices, organises and follows through. Sharing childcare isn’t just taking turns at pick-up. It also means handling communication and sick days.

In her book Fair Play, Eve Rodsky explains how fairness won’t look the same in every household, and how it doesn’t require a perfect fifty-fifty split. What matters is that both people’s time, work and needs are taken seriously, and that you can revisit the arrangement when it stops working.

Eve Rodsky also says that “all time is created equal.” Just because the work you do at home is unpaid doesn’t make it any less valuable.

Honest conversations with your partner can prevent resentment to grow. It can become exhausting when so much of the responsibility falls on one person, particularly when there’s little external support available. I explore this further in my article on maternal burnout and the pressure to do it all.

If you’re parenting on your own, the question becomes how to build support around you, whether through family, friends, community connections or paid help where possible. You deserve support too.

Make room for your feelings and for support

You can prepare carefully and still find the emotional adjustment difficult.

If you’re questioning whether you’re doing enough at work or home, and also feeling pressure to prove your commitment to both, it can be helpful to ask: “Whose expectations am I trying to meet?” Some may reflect what matters to you. Others may come from ideas about what a ‘good mother’ or ‘dedicated employee’ should look like.

Noticing the difference can give you more room to decide what you want to hold on to and what you might be ready to let go of.

It helps to have someone you can talk to, whether a friend, partner, another mother, supportive colleague or therapist. And if you’re feeling anxious, low or overwhelmed, reaching out for professional support is worth considering. You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable.

Your relationship with work may change over time, just as your needs will evolve as your child grows. Give yourself time to adjust and find what works for you, knowing that this may change along the way.

Before returning, it’s also worth having a conversation with your manager about your working hours and responsibilities. If you’re going back part-time, how will your workload be adjusted? What flexibility is available around childcare pick-ups or unexpected absences? Agreeing on these arrangements early, and reviewing them after a few weeks, can help make your return more manageable.

Finding support through your return to work

Returning to paid work can bring up questions about identity, confidence and how to make room for your own needs alongside work and family life. As a counsellor, psychotherapist and motherhood coach, I support mothers navigating these changes, offering a space to explore what they’re experiencing and what feels important to them. Learn more about my work with mothers.