Tips to avoid maternal burnout
Perfectionism is not a healthy habit. Even less so when it comes to motherhood, unless you’re keen to rub shoulders with overwhelm, resentment, rage and the feeling of never being satisfied, which can eventually lead to maternal burnout.
Here is the new mantra you can adopt to preserve your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing when faced with the demands of mothering, working and everything in between: “Good enough is the new perfect”.
Beware of the Good Mother
The good mother is the one who does it all, preferably all at once, never raises her voice, always indulges in self-sacrifice…and does not exist! Most of us carry a lot of unhelpful and unrealistic beliefs about what a good mother is and does. So, next time you catch yourself thinking that you “should” be on top of it all, that you “should” do something productive while your baby is sleeping, that you “should” do every single pick up and drop off, think twice. Said who? Whose voice do you hear when the “should” shows up? Is it serving you or is it overwhelming you?
Learn to say no
Sometimes we forget that we are in control and can decide what we say yes to and what we say no to. If we want to stay sane and raise children who have healthy boundaries, we need to role model that behaviour ourselves. Here, it helps to think about what really matters, the values that are important in this season of your life. Once you have identified them, use them as a compass to navigate the decisions you make, no matter how mundane or challenging.
Connect with other mothers
Isolation is one of the major causes of stress for mothers. Find women to connect with and have genuine conversations about what it is really like to juggle the competing devotions that we need to wrestle with as women and mothers. This can help you normalise your feelings and bring a sense of community back into your life.
Redefine strength
Our culture defines strength as the ability to push through, be constantly “on”, do more, deliver: the perfect cocktail for burnout. What if you embraced a more balanced definition of strength, one that invites you to recognise your needs and respect them? One that gives you permission to delegate, rest, ask for help, get support through coaching, therapy or other holistic practices, prioritise your wellbeing and nourishment?
Mothering is not a walk in the park. It’s normal to not like every single day of your life as a mother, even though you may feel like you’re expected to. Ambivalence is part and parcel of being human, of being a parent, especially in a society that doesn’t value motherhood and is not set up for parents to thrive and feel supported along the way. Learn to own your new gifts and skills as a parent and be kind to yourself: you’re going through a process of transformation, learning and growth like no other.
If you’re interested in resources to help you navigate your mothering journey with more peace and confidence, I created a mini audio series with tips and tools I’ve gathered from my work and personal experience as a mother. You can download it here.
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Nurture & Thrive Sleep
When you’re tired, confused, overwhelmed and even frustrated about sleep, it can just about rob your joy as a Mum. And then that pressure about there being ‘one right way’ and wading through conflicting guidance. My name is Annie and I’d love to help you find YOUR right way with YOUR unique baby, family and situation. Without sleep training, without being told to ‘wait it out’ and without limiting one-size-fits-all ideas that ignore the evidence about infant and child sleep.
Dr Ali Hodgkinson
I’m a general practitioner with a special interest in fertility, lactation medicine, perinatal and infant health. My approach focuses on providing personalised, sensitive care to women and families from preconception, through pregnancy to the postpartum period and beyond. I am have a Diploma in Child Health and I am a Neuroprotective Developmental Care Accredited Practitioner, supporting families with feeding, baby sleep and cry-fuss problems. I work at Nurtured Medical in Avalon, Sydney and Genea Fertility in the CBD. Appointments are available in -clinic, via Telehealth and in-home.
Tapestry of Life Midwife
Lauren is an Endorsed Private Practice Midwife with an excellent reputation in Brisbane for supporting women and families as they journey to—and through—one of life’s most transformative transitions. She works with a whole-family approach, preparing parents not only for pregnancy and birth but also for the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual shifts that come with parenthood and welcoming a new baby.
As a First 1000 Days advocate and nervous system-certified practitioner, Lauren is passionate about equipping families with the tools to build healthy bonds and secure attachments, promoting positive early childhood experiences. This critical period lays the foundation for healthy infant brain development and long-term emotional wellbeing. Lauren empowers parents to connect with their own intuition rather than looking outside themselves for answers.
Lauren provides a variety of Medicare-rebatable appointment types, including:
Pregnancy care for women alongside their chosen care provider – whether booked to birth through the public system or a private maternity hospital. Lauren is a strong advocate for collaborative models of care and can offer:
Shared care with private obstetricians across two clinics in Brisbane
Support as part of your care team alongside GPs or hospital clinics
Birth Mapping appointments – helping you explore your preferences and decision points along the way
Routine postnatal care – including mother and baby checks, breastfeeding support, perinatal wellbeing, and birth debriefing
Postnatal in-home care packages – servicing inner north Brisbane and surrounds
Baby Massage education – 1:1 sessions or private small groups for three or more friends
Closing the Bones Ceremony – a deeply nurturing postpartum ritual rooted in traditional cultural practices, used to honour and support the profound transition into motherhood
In addition, Lauren offers ‘Mothering the Midwife’ Retreats, designed to support the wellbeing of those who hold this professional responsibility. These one-day retreats are created for nurses and midwives to reset their nervous systems, reconnect with themselves, and maintain balance to help prevent compassion fatigue and burnout.
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