Maternal rage refers to intense feelings of anger and frustration that many mothers experience, often triggered by the pressures and demands of motherhood. This phenomenon is not a reflection of how much you love your children but rather a response to the overwhelming stress and exhaustion that can accompany parenting.
I am in no way exempt from this. One of the biggest things I have had to overcome (and am still working on) is the level of anger I sometimes experience in my journey of being a mother.
Chronic lack of sleep can significantly impair emotional regulation, making it harder to manage anger or just life sometimes! This is a hard one to control especially in the first few months of a baby’s life.
Insufficient support from partners, family, or friends can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment, which can build up over time and result in an explosion of emotions. Sound familiar?
Societal pressures and self-imposed standards of being the “perfect” mum can be a source of constant stress. Simply not feeling good enough or in the comparison trap can lead to feelings of irritability.
Postpartum hormonal shifts can affect mood and emotional stability and this can continue once your cycle resumes. (I know I am super emotional during ovulation and around the time of my period).
The demands of motherhood can lead to a loss of sense of self, which can fuel frustration and anger, particularly when it feels as if your partner gets to resume their normal way of life whilst you’re experiencing groundhog day again and again.
Prioritise activities that replenish your energy and improve your well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or quiet time.
Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner, family, or friends. Join parenting groups for shared experiences and support. Nothing beats mum friends to normalise your feelings and talk it through.
Consulting a therapist can provide valuable strategies for managing anger and stress. That’s what I love about my job, unpacking things like maternal rage with mums and helping them through it.
Talk to your partner about your feelings and work together to share parenting responsibilities more equally.
Remember, experiencing mum rage does not make you a bad mother; it’s a sign that you might need more support and self-care. Recognising and addressing these feelings can lead to healthier coping mechanisms and a more balanced approach to motherhood.
Anger, like all emotions, is valid and normal, so please don’t feel like you’re doing a bad job simply because you lost your temper or yelled. You are human, and it is okay. Finding (and accepting) the support you need to move through this is crucial, though. Reach out if you need some guidance on where to start, you are not alone.
I am a psychologist working in the area of maternal mental health and am passionate about helping mothers navigate the ups and downs of motherhood. After becoming a mother myself, I realised what an immense adjustment it is and how mothers need to be better supported.Mothers need to be nourished physically, mentally and emotionally just as much as the babies do.
Papaya Health is an innovative women’s allied health clinic dedicated to providing holistic women’s health services for women in all stages of life.
We’re a team of health professionals, made up of a pelvic health physiotherapist, naturopath, acupuncturist, psychologist and massage therapist all under one roof, ready to support you online and in person in Newtown, Sydney.
I am a psychologist working in the area of maternal mental health and am passionate about helping mothers navigate the ups and downs of motherhood. After becoming a mother myself, I realised what an immense adjustment it is and how mothers need to be better supported.Mothers need to be nourished physically, mentally and emotionally just as much as the babies do.
We have cherry picked the most useful resources for your fourth trimester so that you don't have to waste precious hours searching.
Watch - Elisha Wildblood and Louise Barton - (Not Another Onesie)
The 'perfect mother' myth: What is it and why does it exist?
Article - Elise Clement (Elise Clement Psychotherapy & Coaching)
Perfectionism is not a healthy habit. Even less so when it comes to motherhood, unless you’re keen to rub shoulders with overwhelm, resentment, rage and the feeling of never being satisfied, which can eventually lead to maternal burnout.
Article - Alice Mason (Align with Alice)
This idea flips the script. Instead of seeing happiness, peace or calm as something that only exists in the future, tied to the achievement of a goal, it invites you to find joy and satisfaction in the present moment. It’s a reminder that your feelings aren’t just an outcome of a milestone, but they are a tool for creating it.
Article - Courtney Wilton (Nourished Psychology)
Discover the early signs of postpartum distress that often go unnoticed and learn when and how mothers should seek mental health support. From baby blues vs. depression to finding the right therapist.
Article - Leonie Lindenbergh-Poot (Love Through Loss Doula)
Children experience grief differently than adults. They may not have the words to express their feelings, so they show them in other ways—through tears, anger, or even unexpected silliness. Some days, they may seem perfectly fine, and the next, a wave of sadness can hit them out of nowhere. It’s all part of how they process the big feelings they don’t fully understand yet.
