AI Can Give Relationship Advice. A Counsellor Can Hear Both Sides.
Becoming parents changes relationships. Sleep deprivation, mental load, intimacy, finances, identity, roles and the relentless nature of caring for a baby can put pressure on even strong relationships. And relationship counsellor Bree Baxter from Cultivation Counselling and the creator of ‘Me. We, Us’ has noticed a change in where mothers are taking those worries. Ten years ago, she says many people turned to Facebook groups or online communities. Now, she increasingly hears people say they have used AI, often late at night, to talk through a disagreement, feeling disconnected from a partner or wondering how to raise something that has been bothering them. There can be real value in that.
“AI can help someone find words for what they’re feeling or think about how to begin a conversation. It’s available straight away, and the response often feels gentle and non-judgmental.”
Sometimes that is exactly the starting point someone needs. But AI only hears one person’s version of the relationship.
As Bree explains:
“When someone asks AI about a difficult moment with their partner, it can only respond to the version of events it’s been given.”
It doesn’t know:
- How exhausted both parents are.
- How the workload is shared.
- What each person has experienced before becoming a parent.
- Or what has been happening between them for months or years.
And if AI becomes the place we take every vulnerable feeling, Bree raises another important question:
What connection might we be losing?
“Becoming a parent can be lonely, and it’s often the people around us who help us feel less alone: a partner, a friend, family, other parents or a counsellor. We say it takes a village to raise a child. That village needs to support the parents, too.”
In counselling, Bree can hear both partners. She can slow down an argument and explore what is sitting underneath it. She can understand why one person’s words are being heard very differently by the other. And she can hold two experiences at once without deciding who is right.
“AI can respond to one person’s account, but it can’t hear from both partners in the room or see how they interact.”
Again, AI may help start the conversation. A human can help two people actually have it, maintaining an energy of care and compassion.